Change your habits to change your life

Change is hard. We all know this. We want to become happier, healthier, kinder, and so on. We might get inspired and begin strong, but then it's tough to actually stick with new behaviours.

According to research, our habits make up about 40 percent of what we do each day. So knowing how to build positive habits is essential to our overall well-being. But there's a lot of information to sift through out there.

To make it easier, this post covers 6 strategies for creating (and maintaining) healthy habits that endure.

First ...

What are habits?

Habits are the small decisions we make and actions we take each day, whether positive or negative. A so-called "good" habit is an established behaviour that supports our wellness. Think daily movement, low stress, nourishing foods, hydration.

Why do habits matter?

The life we have today is largely the sum of the habits we regularly engage in. What we repeatedly think, say, and do creates the person we are, and the person we are becoming.

WBi is all about learning how to up-level our behaviours and move toward higher health - in mind, body, and spirit. With small changes we can literally transform our lives.

Let's start with how willpower and motivation really influence our habits.

The truth about willpower and motivation

Willpower -

Basically, we use our willpower when we try to resist the immediate wants of our primal-self while holding out for the longer-term goals of our future-self. When we struggle to change our habits, many of us think we just need more willpower. But studies confirm what we already know from experience: our willpower has limits.

I like how Taoism frames our willpower in terms of our lower soul and higher soul. Our primal nature is our lower soul. It's influenced by our environmental conditioning and seeks pleasure in the now. Our primal nature is our higher soul. It isn't swayed by environmental conditioning. Instead, it guides us by way of patience, discipline, moderation, and wisdom.

Because we've learned to let our lower soul be in charge (make me comfortable, give it to me now), it often simply wins the "battle of the wills". Our original nature, our higher soul, recedes and becomes neglected and quiet.

Motivation -

Motivation is the drive or energy behind our actions. Again, we often think we just need more of it in order to change. If only I had more motivation, then I'd be able to ... (insert new, desired behaviour here).

However, our motivational energy ebbs and flows. This is what professor BJ Fogg of Tiny Habits calls our "motivation wave". And the guilt and frustration we tend to feel toward ourselves when we can't muster the motivation only further depletes this limited supply of energy.

The transition to what works

Our conditioning toward lower soul responses (willpower) combined with the ebbs and flows of our energy (motivation) explains (at least in part) why changing our habits can be. So. Very. Hard.

So what do we do?

We need strategies that take us beyond the limits of what we typically rely upon.

6 strategies for building new habits

1 begin with identity -

Identity is about what we believe to be true about ourselves. When we set out to build a new habit, we often focus on what we want to achieve. A way more effective approach is to begin by focusing on who we want to become. This called identity-based change. And it's key because behaviours that aren't congruent with our identity won't last. Our beliefs drive our actions.

It's the difference between saying I want this and I am this. I want good health. I am healthy. I want a great career. I am successful. I want to be a good friend. I am trustworthy and kind. And the more we value this part of our identity, the more likely we are to maintain the habits associated with it. If we value being a healthy person, we develop and maintain habits that support our wellness.

It's difficult, if not impossible, to change our current habits if we don't change the underlying beliefs that led to them in the first place. We may begin a new habit by relying on sheer willpower or motivation, but we'll only maintain it long-term when it becomes part of how we see ourselves.

2 have a vision -

To make real and lasting (and sometimes profound) changes we also have to consider our values. Many issues with impulsivity (lower soul) and unhealthy habits are really signs that we're living out of alignment with our values - our higher soul. Our habits, then, are just symptoms.

While focusing on our habits is definitely important (and necessary), we each need a vision. This is our personal North Star. When we have a strong vision for our self and our life, it becomes easier to overcome obstacles or make course-corrections along the journey. Without it, where are we going? What is our higher soul's calling and purpose?

Check out my vision boarding post, containing a free download, for a detailed map to creating your unique vision.

3 strengthen willpower and motivation -

Okay. They have limits. But we don't want to neglect our willpower and motivation entirely. Like muscles, they can be strengthened. To a point, with practice, and over time. What practice? Meditation.

When we regularly meditate, our body and brain shift into states that build our capacities to do what's hard (new habits) and resist what's easy or automatic (old habits). Meditation practices help us develop our willpower and increase our impulse control.

In this meditative state of calm and focus, we also restore our energy - the drive that fuels our motivation. The ebbs and flows become more balanced, and we are better able to make and sustain the positive changes we seek.

4 build an overall plan -

A plan gives our life rhythm and direction. It's not too rigid, not too loose. It leaves room for variation, but not so much that any surprises or urgencies of life pull us completely off our course. Finding this balance takes practice.

Begin by setting your priorities. Base these on who you want to become (your identity) and your values (your vision). For example, I do some form of movement every morning, for at least 30 minutes ... I'm in bed every night with lights out by 9:30 p.m. ... and so on.

A plan ensures that we proactively manage our time around what's important to us first. And then we put in the effort required, with minimal distraction.

5 choose a habit and make it doable -

Now we're getting into the details. This is where we choose the first (or next) habit we want to form. A habit that is based on our identity, vision, and broader life plan.

There are 2 variables to making a new habit doable. First, make it easy. Second, make it specific.

To make it easy, we begin where we are. We start slow and small. Really slow. And really small. Because we establish any habit (positive or negative) by moving one step, in one direction, every day, over time. Just do it. It's about repetition, not perfection. I'll begin walking 5 minutes, and add another 5 minutes per day, until I reach and sustain 30 minutes daily.

Don't underestimate this! Research clearly shows that simply repeating an action leads to changes in our brain. Putting in the reps is one of the most powerful ways to encode a new habit, taking it from requiring effort to becoming automatic.

A specific plan should be simple and clear. It includes what, when, for how long, and where. What we'll do (the action). When we'll do it (the time of day). For how long we'll do it (time). And where we will do it (the location). I will walk, every day before work, for 5 plus minutes, along the river path near home.

6 create supportive surroundings -

The people who seem to have the most willpower and motivation strengthen them (as above), AND use them sparingly. Instead of relying on them, they create supportive surroundings for themselves.

Many of us live in environments that don't really work for us. But we can change the spaces we inhabit to our benefit. When we design our surroundings to decrease our exposure to negative cues and increase our exposure to positive ones, we take control. We become the architects of our worlds.

Here's an example of changing our surroundings to support our morning walking habit. First, we remove negative cues that may get in the way of us taking our morning walk. This might mean, say, putting our phone out of sight, so it isn't the first thing we reach for when we wake up. Next, we expose ourselves to positive cues by putting our walking gear at the foot of our bed and our runners at the front door every evening.

This may seem simplistic, but studies have shown that even the smallest change to our environment is very effective for letting go of an old habit and establishing a new one.

The recap

To make this come to life for you, I've created a habit building worksheet. You can use it on repeat to implement the 6 strategies, build new habits, and change your life over time.

Once you've used the worksheet a few times, you may find you're able to walk through it more quickly, or even do it in your head, when approaching any new habit. Enjoy!

To learn more

These are great resources:

Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. James Clear.

Tiny Habits: The Small Changes that Change Everything. BJ Fogg.

Zen Habits: Mastering the Art of Change. Peter Babauta.